We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Okay

Sissy is doing so good. The new medication she has seems to be working. She even went to the store with me today and did some grocery shopping! She is now exhausted and recuperating but she looks beautiful.

I read through the MRI this morning and it appears that it is in her lower vertebrae and pelvis. The doctor wants to do another bone scan to verify everything as apparently if the cancer takes over thin bones, such as the pelvis, it can actually cause the bones to break. He also mentioned doing radiation on it. That is also a possibility IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF the brain scan turns out fucked up too.

Today, so far, has been a manageable day. It's so much easier to deal with when sissy is ok. Last week when she couldn't move, needed help being dressed and became too exhausted to even chew her food, well, that's when I'm not okay and become enraged that this is happening.

The kids are good. Valentina is really beginning to grasp what is going on now. Asa is just a champ. He's a real trouper. We couldn't ask for better children.

Yesterday after chemo, sissy had an appointment with her psychiatrist. She was VERY loopy from the benadryl and quite heavily medicated. Anyway, I don't even know why I mentioned this stuff, but when she was talking to the doctor about her feelings, etc.. she said it was going to be hard when she loses her hair. Having her say it out loud was like BAM! almost hearing the diagnosis all over again. It took me a few seconds to realize what she was saying. I'm not an idiot, I've seen the beautiful headwear she's received from Gmom, I've seen her wig, I've seen her IN her wig, I bought her satin pillowcases because I remember how sore her head will get. I know that she will lose her hair. I've seen her lose her hair. It's just every once in a while something like that happens and it slaps me in the face again that yes, sissy has cancer. Again. I'll never stop wanting to vomit when I type or say those words.

All in all, well, life is life. I'm not raging right now, not at this minute anyway! I just hope like hell they don't do the brain scan/additional bone scan on Friday. Friday's never bring good news. She's had two oncology appointments on a Friday and the MRI was done/report done, on a Friday. In fact I might rename them Fuck Off Friday. That sounds about right. Who would have thought we would be longing for the days when the cancer was "just" in her liver.

Sissy got her disabled parking placard. SCORE! Wouldn't you know it, today when we went to the store we were all excited to use it and we ended up getting a kick ass "normal" parking spot, even better than the disabled ones.

Thank you for the prayers and keep 'em coming!

8 comments:

bodegalee said...

Cameo... I'm so very glad Trina's new meds seem to be working and so glad you had a good time together.... Your family is incredibly fortunate for the wonderful closeness you share... truly! Continuing to pray for clean scans in future... Not only in nursing but in the adoption community as well, cant begin to tell you about the huge numbers of "miracle" type outcomes I've seen with bad stuff.... And your Sissy will do it once more..Know we're here for you... all of you... Your family is in my prayers constantly.. ((HUGS))!!

Leigh
PS: did you get those bras returned :) :)??

Trina G. said...

LOL LOL at your last paragraph about the "normal" parking spot.

Love you and emjoyed your company so much. Thank you for all your hard work.

nikki said...

So glad to hear the meds are working and Trina is feeling more comfortable. Continued prayers for family and Trina.

Very funny about the parking space, isn't that always the way.

mylene said...

Hang in there Cameo. It makes me cry reading your blog. I remember last time, and I do have to say that Trina looks great bald, and with hats. She is really beautiful. She beams such positive wonderful energy. She is the one thing I miss about working for State Farm. Spending all that time with her and her wonderful personality and laugh. God bless you all.

Lori said...

This is by NO means a laughing matter but for some reason I laughed out loud about your new name for Fridays because it instantly made me think of a Sting song "message in a bottle" instead though I was thinking "sending out an F O F"
Dumb. I know. I don't even know why I blogged that just now! Sorry!

Cameo said...

I love it Lori! Thanks for the laugh.

Sig said...

F O F. Love it.
If my cancer is back, I am coming over there and trins and I are taking bald pics. Then I am kidnapping her for a "cancer only" girls overnight.
And I am quite disturbed, I did not get a handicapped parking thingie! Harumph!

Grama said...

So glad that you are still able to laugh. Remember you aren't the only one who gets angry with God. We all hate this cancer and how much it hurts all of you. Hoping and praying still. Love you so much.