We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Fight Like A Girl

Thanks to Kim, we're all fighting like a girl.
Seriously though, today was chemo day and unbeknownst to each other, Beya and sissy wore their t-shirts! I took the kiddos (and Papa) to Costco today and decided that I'd wear mine too, even though I wasn't with mom and Trina. So a few hours after we got home mom called me up and said "Trina's done with chemo and she's starving. Do you want to meet us at Olive Garden?" Since I had just finished the last homemade cinnamon roll and was super stuffed to the gills, my automatic response was "SURE!". So completely by accident we all wore our matching t-shirts at the same time. Thank you Kim!!!! It was also a testament to sissy's natural warm self that one of the hostesses at Olive Garden was genuinely concerned about Trina. We've "known" C for a few years, probably about six years since she followed Asa's pregnancy and then Valentina's adoption. Whenever we go to Olive Garden we always catch up with C. She's such a sweetheart and her daughter has had health problems of her own, which we've followed along with too. As we were all being led to our table, C held me back and wanted to know "the truth" of how sissy was doing. It's lovely to run into people in town who really, honestly care for and love my sister. We live in a fairly big town (300,000 + population) but we are quite celebrity like...... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh man, I guess my sense of humor is still intact!!!
I had a bad weekend, in case you couldn't tell from my last post. The Coldplay concert that Trina, Josh, Norm and I had kick ass seat tickets for was Friday night. Friday afternoon sissy called me, she was strong, she was excited, we were going to go, and then right in the middle of our conversation she said "I gotta go throw up". I knew then that it wasn't going to happen. I cried for a while. I thought of going, just Norm and I, but then the thought of leaving sissy and Josh behind made me want to vomit.
I cried because it was one more thing that cancer has stolen from us.
I cried because of how much fun Trina and I had had the last time we saw Coldplay.
I cried because I was scared that I wouldn't have the opportunity to do this again with sissy.
I cried because I felt selfish for being upset at missing a concert.
I cried because of what missing it represented.
I cried because sissy was missing a concert she had desperately wanted to go see.
I cried because of all the things sissy has missed out on.
I cried because I was tired of everything.
So yes, I was tired and had a bad weekend. Today? Today I'm slowly on the road up again.
Well, I'm tired and mom and sissy want more cinnamon rolls so I'm going to make some more. I'm also going to try my hand at Krispy Kreme-ish donuts. Stress induced baking? Sooooo NOT a good thing!!!!


Jaimee said...

I LOVE those t-shirts!!!! And that is such Karma that you guys all wore them on the same day. My Mom and I do that all the time, it's kind of creepy and cool all at the same time. LOL!

The last part of your post had me in tears, your emotions are so real and the fact that your willing to share them all makes you so brave. You have an amazing ability to dig deep into why you feel the way you do, what a gift.

Hugs and Prayers!!!

Krystal said...

Great shirts! You ladies look beautiful in brown :)

Sig said...

Huge hugs. You are such a great sister. Hoping this week isn't as bad for Trina with her "new" meds.

Mandy said...

Those shirts are beyond awesome.

your llp said...

I second Mandy! :0) So, about those cinnamon rolls........

Kim said...

You guys look great in the shirts - and I LOVE how you all wore them the same day!!!! And I am also very curious about those cinnamon rolls.... :)

Jill said...

Love you girlS!

} tiGeRliLy said...

Love the Pic...you beautiful ladies are in my prayers!!!!

Tracey said...

I love the shirts!!! I want one! I could wear it every Monday!! Long distance support!! I wish I lived closer so I could taste some of your yummy baking...on second thought...its probably best I don't...I am trying to lose some weight:)

So sorry about the concert:( I KNOW you 4 will be at the next one! Fucking cancer!!

Andrea said...

You all look GORGEOUS!! It doesn't surprise me at all that you wore them all the same day. You three have a connection beyond understanding. And that is a good thing.

I love you all!!


Grama said...

I hope I get some of the donuts. Please. all kidding aside I am glad you get your feelings out but am very happy when you can laugh. So hoping you get a good nights sleep. Love you all.

Valerie said...

The picture and the shirts are awesome. Cancer is all about the lowest of lows and then the sorta good moments.