We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Saturday, November 07, 2009


In order for all of you to understand what I'm about to say, you need to go and read the following post from 2006 first:

I Hate Thanksgiving

Soooooo......... Thanksgiving 2007 was spent in Guatemala City at the Westin having dinner, meeting Candy and her adorable family, just missing Crystal by a few minutes and having a great time......except our family was split in half by 3000 miles. If I were to be completely honest (and let's face it, I usually am), I would admit that I was miserable. Don't get me wrong, I was very grateful that we would be leaving GC in two days WITH our baby girl!!!! But I chalked it up to yet another sucky Thanksgiving in a long line of sucky Thanksgivings. Only this time I was in another country.

Last year? I can honestly say that last Thanksgiving was perfection. It was the Thanksgiving I had dreamed of. Even before we bought our house I had a vision of what the perfect Thanksgiving would be like. There would be a roaring fire in the fireplace, a house full of family and friends, kids running around and laughing and about 10 conversations going on at once. Last Thanksgiving was exactly what I had dreamed of. And we ended the night with dragging out the fake Christmas tree, setting it up in the family room (we use a real one in the living room) and letting the kids decorate it. Needless to say the tree was overly decorated in about an 18 inch square area and the rest was bare, but it was perfect. Yes, I said it and I'll say it again. Thanksgiving 2008 was perfect.

Hands down the worst Thanksgiving was Thanksgiving 1993. Trina had been diagnosed with breast cancer 12/14/92 so we were almost one year post diagnosis. That was fine, that had nothing to do with it. It was the fact that there were only three of us at dinner. It was sissy, her asshole husband at the time and me. It was bad. The food sucked (sorry sissy, she made all of it), the turkey was half raw, mom and Papa were in Texas. It sucked.

So yeah, I am not a fan of Thanksgiving.

Earlier this week mom was talking about Thanksgiving. Given our penchant for making 73 different plans for Thanksgiving we actually came up with only one clear cut plan; same thing as last year, just have it here. After all we won't know how sissy is feeling so having it here is the most reasonable option. We'll have a few friends, a few members of Josh's family and whoever else decides to straggle in. Very low key, very normal, very nice.

So of course mom states how Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday. She then asks me what mine is. Now whenever mom asks me this question I always answered the same thing with no hesitation; Christmas. This time? This time I paused. I thought of the how far we've come with Thanksgiving. The warmth of the fire, the kids laughing, the house bursting with love, family and conversation, the anticipation of Christmas to come, the cold weather. All of these thoughts ran through my mind as I began to question to sanity. Could it be? Could I have changed that much? Could Thanksgiving have changed that much?

Mom gasping brought me back to reality. "NO!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! Say it. Even if you say it I won't believe it. Really?" We both knew what my answer was even though I didn't verbalize it.

Up is down. Black is white. Cold is hot. Dark is light.

And Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.


mylene said...

I love thanksgiving. Even thought it has been difficult some years without the kids. I really appreciate the opportunity to focus on all the blessings, a grateful heart, and a time of closeness with God. No pressure to buy gifts, or hecticness. Just quiet contemplation. Hope you have a great thanksgiving this year!

Tracey said...

My g-pa died early in the morning the day after T-day. I hated it for so long...now I just have so much to be thankful for!!

Have a great one!! AND by the way you are LATE getting up the Christmas background on here:) Last year you had it up in Oct!

Love you!

Jaimee said...

What? Did I hear you right? I can't believe it! Your post almost made me cry...so thoughtful and real. Your description of Thanksgiving does sound perfect, I love it!

Anonymous said...

I miss you guys.. give your sissy a gentle hug for me and let her know we are all continuing to pray for her.. hug each of the little ones too ( yeah like they know me from Adam and Eve Right?)
Loved your contemplation relating to Thanksgiving... I heard of a lady who put up the fake tree on Nov first and they write their blessings daily on a paper ornament and they share them on Thanksgiving all the blessings are removed after reading them and then the ornaments go on for the Christmas season.. Oh and the previous years blessings are put into a box and read at the beginning of their blessings season the next year.

Hugs and blessings for a warm and happy Thanksgiving.

MT II ( No I am not a Nun)

Mandy said...

Hooray for great Thanksgivings! I now that Katy Perry song stuck in my head now. LOL.

Crystal said...

oooh My dear sweet Cameo!!!! I just love you and your Thanksgiving stories!!! So so so precious!!! --And let me tell you if I ever come that close to meeting you and your family again well....nothing can drag me away so so so sad I missed you guys!

I have been thinking about you all week--Thank you so much for your comment girlfriend! My babies (Soph and Levi) have been sick all of last week and they kept taking turns wanting mama to hold them all day :) I was loving it because they are usually too busy playing to just cuddle :) --Although, you should see my messy house! --That is okay though they are growing up waay too fast!

I think about you guys all of the time~~~ your family is such an inspiration! I think about Trina and her strength and courage and I think about you and what an amazing sister you are to her and your STRENGTH and COURAGE too--and I LOVE when you tell your Asa and Valentina stories --:)!

And then I think about your mom --now seriously Cameo where do I start with your mom---oooh Cameo I so want to be her when I grow up!!! I love her heart and how she is with you and Trina! I think you said this somewhere on your blog that she still calls you baby girl and I think that is soo cute because I will probably always call Sophie that too!

I am sorry I am so mushy today ha! Can I blame it on the hormones?! ha! I think it is the hoildays coming I just love this time of year too! And I am a crazy mush ball lately :) getting teary at everything!

My dear sweet Cameo you have a good day okay and hey if you have a chance there is a new song out by Mandisa (she used to be on American Idol) called "He is With You" I heard it on the radio in the car the other day and cried my eyes out~~~ it is on You Tube and it is just an amazing song if you listen to the lyrics. I don't know if you even like this kind of music (it is nothing like U2 :) but it just ministered to my heart and I thought you might like it :)

Crystal said...

My dear sweet Cameo I am so sorry I didn't realize I wrote such a novel --I am sorry! :)

Crystal said...

ps--I swear this is my last comment I am so so sorry but i forgot to put this-- Can you tell Trina that I am praying for her I admire her fight with this cancer more than she knows and I will not stop praying