We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

What To Do, U2?

I have an extremely difficult and intensely personal decision to make. Back around November or so I bought four floor tickets to see U2 in June 2010. Since they are playing about 2-3 hours north of us I decided that it would be a bit of a "cancercation" for sissy and Joshua to go also. Granted, buying tickets for a concert while your sister is undergoing chemotherapy is a gamble but it was a gamble I was willing to take. It was something sissy and I talked about and were excited to think about. The last time I saw U2 was on 12/19/05 with just sissy and me. We had an absolute FABULOUS, manic time! Kanye West opened and sissy and I just went wild, as we are wont to do during concerts.

The day sissy died I thought of those tickets sitting in the safe and wanted to sell them ASAP. I wanted them, along with all the dreams sissy and I had of using them, to be out of my house and out of my mind. I didn't sell them. I still have them. And I am now two months away from from either using the tickets or selling them.

Now before everyone starts telling me "Trina would want you to go," blah blah blah, I remember back to July 2009 when we had tickets to see Coldplay. Oh how hard Trina tried to go but six hours before the concert started she came to the realization that she couldn't do it. Up until a few days prior, and even that morning, I had made the decision that even if sissy and Josh couldn't go, Norm and I WOULD go. When Trina called me up to tell me to sell her tickets my decision was made, I could NOT go without her. I sobbed, not about missing the concert so much but about what cancer was doing to us, what cancer was robbing us of, the physical reasons that sissy couldn't go, the fact that my sister had cancer... AGAIN. It was horrible. All of those cemented plans of Norm and I going even if Trina and Josh didn't were instantly blown away as if they had only been ash. And I never ONCE even for the briefest seconds ever regretted not going, but I think I WOULD have regretted going.

So I need to decide what to do with these tickets. Go? Try to convince Joshua to go with us? Have Joshua bring a friend (he has friends up there)? All of the above? Don't go? I have no clue. C'mon sissy, help me out here!

Sissy and me
U2 closing out their North American Tour
Hands down one of the greatest nights of my life BECAUSE it was shared with my sister.


Kathy said...

Oh Cameo....definitely not a decision that is going to be easy. I'm not even going to try and help you out on that one. I'm certain though, whatever you decide will be extremely hard for you. I am so, so sorry you have to deal with all of this. It just isn't fair, is it? Life can be so freaking unfair at times!

I absolutely LOVE that picture of you and Trina!

Love and hugs to you my friend,

wy-not said...

What a beautiful memory of a wonderful occasion. Aren't pictures priceless! Whether to go or not is a really tough tough decision for you to face. And the reality is that your loss and your grief are going to make it tough no matter which decision you make. I just pray for peace for you. You'll make the right choice, whatever that is.



Kelley said...

That is a tough decision. If you really feel like you can not go then maybe you could auction off the tickets and put the money is Asa's fund. Just an idea.