We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Coos Bay Vacay

It's been a while since I posted pictures of the kids so hold on to your hats. I'm trying to make a good post for today since all I can think of is "seven months ago the unthinkable happened."

Norm had to go to the beach for work this past weekend so of course we tagged along. He rode down with his work husband and I went with Beya, Papa and the kiddo's.

We weren't even out of town when I took this picture.

About an hour from our destination.

The kids saw these glasses and two bottles of water next to them so they took it upon themselves to become very dignified in their drinking patterns for the next two days.

We went out to dinner the first night and Valentina wanted the nachos. This is the KID SIZED nachos!

Asa always looks so angelic when he sleeps.

Valentina fell asleep at the foot end so mom made her a bed out of the two chairs. She loved it when she woke up.

hmmm....... someone seems to have taken a self portrait when I wasn't looking.

Friday mom and I took the kids to the beach. We had to drive about 25 miles south from our hotel to get beach access. We stopped for lunch and asked where we could get to the beach and lo and behold we were only a half mile from it! Valentina was in heaven with her soup. She loves soup. She will sometimes beg for soup for breakfast.

Asa doing some disco moves.

Our view of the bay. Side note: if you are at the beach at lunchtime and there is a restaurant that has a long line and a restaurant that is mostly empty, chances are that the mostly empty place is empty for a reason. We figured that out after we ate. Guess we should have waited in line.

Asa making a sand angel.

Beya buried Asa in the sand.
Mom and I were pretty proud of ourselves. This was our first trip to the beach without sissy and it was hard. But we went out and did it for the kids and we had fun. The weather was almost perfect, slightly windy, kind of sunny but not cold. It was probably 65 degrees, not too bad for the Oregon coast!

Asa loved seeing my sand writing.

You can't tell but the rocks were a pearlized teal color. It was the weirdest and coolest thing. Valentina loved pouring sand over the rocks. That's all she did, put sand on the rocks. Oh, and she's pants less because we were standing at the edge of the beach, letting the waves wash over our feet and she fell down when a bigger wave than we were expecting came up. Her pants got wet and she HATES to get wet! She preferred to not wear pants and get a little cold than wear wet pants.

Here she is searching for her treasures.........

......... and here they are.

I love how Asa isn't making a goofy face in this picture (he's 5 and learned from the older boys in camp that you always make faces when someone takes pictures) and he was just melted into me. Valentina wouldn't take a picture with me.

Oh sure, but Valentina will take a picture with Beya!

Beya took this one of Asa and me. Trina has one on her blog of her and Asa in this same pose.

Saturday we went to breakfast at the hotel before we packed up and left. Papa is observing the tugboat coming up.

My beautiful mom who I love very much.

Dear sweet Asa in his Mexico soccer uniform.

My hilarious, life loving little girl. She reminds me so much of sissy with her gusto for living.

These next few pictures might be boring to you but I thought it was so cool. This huge boat came into the bay and the two tug boats turned it around so it could back into the mill..... but it didn't back into the mill, it just turned around and left. All the waiters in the restaurant said it was the biggest ship they had seen and that it was one that they had never seen. Funny, I guess even big ships get lost!

The boardwalk at the hotel.

Yesterday, Sunday, was a hard day. Much, much harder than I thought it would be. Every year we go to the Mexican Fiesta and it's something that Valentina LOVES and looks forward to. She's always asking when the "Fwesta" will be. All I could think of was of the Fiesta last year. Sissy was sick from chemo and couldn't go. Josh's dad and his wife were in town from West Virginia and we hadn't seen Asa much for the week but he wanted to go to the Fiesta so we stole him. It was lovely having both kids and it was a bit of a cancercation. The kids were laughing and making jokes the whole way home and it was just a wonderful day even though sissy was sick. Asa bounded through the door when we dropped him off and I told sissy everything we had done.
This year there was no bounding through the door. Asa had gone with Joshua to a family reunion. I couldn't tell sissy everything we had done. It was so very, very different. It was painful, both emotionally and physically. Literally physically painful. The drive to and from the beach had done a real number on me and I could hardly move. I was heavily medicated but I went. I went for Valentina. I went because I want BOTH kids to have happy memories. I went because both kids deserve one on one time. I went because I wanted to watch Valentina enjoy her "Fwesta."

Valentina picked out her outfit.

She loved this pen Beya bought for her. She kept swiping it across her face, giggling and exclaiming how soft it was.

I'm in soooooo much trouble. My child is already dancing on tables at three years old.

So that is what we have been up to for the past few days. Sissy's birthday is in nine days. I asked Asa if he wanted to do something for it and after he thought about it for a few seconds he said no. I'm dreading it. Trina always loved her birthday. If someone asked her what her favorite holiday was she'd always say her birthday. Well, that and Brewfest. August screams TRINA!!!! She loved her birthday month and never shied away from pulling the birthday month card. I tried telling once or twice that her birthday month ended on the 18th but she never went for it. Things changed a bit after Asa was born and it wasn't as important to her but I knew she still liked it. August is a very difficult month. It will be the first time I won't get my sister a birthday card. I'll never buy another "Happy Birthday Sister" card. I'll never receive one again either. Things are hard. There is NEVER one second of one minute of one hour of one day that she's not on my mind. At least five times a day something will come up and I'll think "I need to ask sissy about that" or "I can't wait to tell sissy this", which is odd since again, I'm always thinking that she's gone..... forever..... yet I still have these flashes of wanting to tell or ask her something.
It's just plain hard.


Krystal said...

Thanks for sharing all fo these pictures - the kids are just so cute and it seems like they have a good time no matter where they are!

I cannot imagine how hard it was for you & Beya to go out to the beach without Trina, but I am so proud of you both for doing it. I think the picture of you and Asa is very poetic. . . it's just where Trina would want you to be. If she cannot be there with him right now, she wants you to -- and you are -- because you are the best sister and the best aunt ever!

And oh dear, Valentina makes me smile. I love the outfit AND the table dancing :)

Patti B. said...

What a nice get-away. I'm sorry you came back to a rough time getting through the Fwesta but it was awesome of you to go...
Maybe try to think of Trina's birthday as a day of relief, if you can at all - try to turn it backwards into an amazing day that will lift your spirits instead of a immensely difficult day. Because, as you have said and you live through, they are all immensely difficult days...maybe this special day of Trina's will bring a tiny glimmer of peace to your heart. That is what I wish for you, at least...

PS - you are indeed screwed with that beautiful little girl and her table dancing abilities :)

Grama said...

Table dancing Love it. She is an awsome child. Love you for being a great Mom.