We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I Love You Mom

Mom,

I love you way too much than to wish you a happy birthday. I know it won't be happy. I know it will suck. But I'm so damn thankful to be spending it with you.

I love you.

I love the way you give me space when I cry.

I love the way you hold me when I cry.

I love the way you are so much more than a Beya to my children.

I love the way I can lean on you and no matter how heavy my heart, you still have the ability to support me.

I love the way you whipped up my couch cushions in about 32 seconds.

I love the way you make me feel needed as much as I need you.

I love the way we have our coffee together in the morning.

I love the way we can sit together and not talk and just be with our own thoughts, even though our thoughts are exactly the same.

I love the way I can tell you my most horrible thoughts and wishes and you don't make me feel bad for having them.

I love the way you've shown me how to be a mom.

I love that in this horrific nightmare of a life we have been handed, I have you.

I love that I have someone who is grieving in pretty much exactly the same way that I am.


Yes, I realize now that almost every single thing I listed is how you support ME but I can honestly say that right now without you, there would be no me.


Most of all mom, I love you, just the way you are.

I love you.

1 comment:

Beya said...

Thank you for such a beautiful post. I wish you did not know this pain I feel, but I know that you are hurting as much if not more than me. Yes, we hurt the same. I love you, and thank you for spending the day with me. I love you so much!!!!