We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Monday, March 14, 2011

My Baby Girl

Valentina has been sick for about the past 9 days. Her low grade fever left about five days ago but she's still had a sore throat and a bit of a cough. She does pretty good during the day but by evening she's worn out and tired. She had me up around 3am a few nights ago so I laid with her and she asked me, with her eyes closed and so tired, "mama, when am I gonna stop coughing?" She asked mom yesterday (who was up with her at 4am and rocked her) "Beya, when am I gonna be well?"

I took her in to the doctor today and he told me what I already knew; Valentina needs surgery to remove her tonsils. They are so big they are causing her kiddie sleep apnea.

I'm dreading it but the past few weeks I've been telling mom and Norm that once her cold cleared up I wanted to get going on having her tonsils removed.

Ever since Valentina came home her doctor and I have been having this discussion. There was a small chance her little body would catch up to her massive tonsils but I knew this would happen.

I know it's a routine surgery but I still hate the thought of it. The fact that we'll be having it done at the same hospital sissy died is not fun either. Asa has had three surgeries but they weren't as invasive. He was born with a clogged tear duct so he basically had to have it roter rootered. Next came a cyst removal on the top of his ear. The cyst grew back so he had to have it removed again and that did the job. Trina didn't want us at any of the surgeries because she wanted it as low key as possible and didn't want to freak Asa out by having all of us there.

For a split second today I thought to myself "yeah, I bet Trina won't stay home when Valentina has her surgery! I'm sure she'll have to be there!" I'd like to believe she WILL be there, watching over her Vali but I don't know what happens after someone dies. Half of the time I think you just die and that's it, you don't go anywhere, your soul dies too. The other time I want so badly to believe her soul did go to heaven and she's up there with Jesus and our grandma who she loved so much. Here's the bitchy part of me coming out; any time someone says to me "oh, she's up there all right" I want to say "yeah, and you also told me 'Trina will be fine, she'll beat this cancer, I KNOW it'."

So that's it, Valentina needs surgery. I'm waiting to hear back from the ENT. I would like this done ASAP so I can just get it done and over with so Valentina can finally breathe normally and she won't have to deal with a sore throat all the time or struggle to breathe when she gets sick.


Andrea said...

Speaking from experience, she will be SO much happier when they are gone. I got strep throat every six months until I had them out at 13. I wish they had taken them sooner. I know she will be a different kid (in a good way) when she's feeling better and getting good sleep.

Kim said...

I ditto Andrea. I just had mine out 3 years ago. For the 6 months prior to my surgery I was miserable ALL the time. I was constantly sick - it was horrible. The surgery went fine - recovery wasn't too horrible - and I really haven't been sick since.

It's still going to be hard, but she will feel so much better.

heather said...

My oldest had them out at 4 and oh my goodness, what a difference! We knew he had chronic ear infections, but hadn't realized (cause he was our first and EJ wasn't home yet) that he sounded like a train when sleeping. He slept better and never had another ear infection or strep throat. Jack actually had his tonsils and his adenoids out for the same reason...much bigger than the doctor had ever seen before!

Grama said...

I am believing this is what she needs and it will make a total difference. Constantly praying for you and your whole family.
Love you all so much

Jill said...

I hope all goes smoothly with Valentina - I like to think that Trina is watching over her as well.

email me sometime...I miss you.

Grandma Kathy said...

I hope your little sweetie feels better soon. I went through that with my oldest son Steven. He had lots of throat problems and fevers all the time until he had his out when he was 7. But I know, it's a very scary thing for us parents to go through. Sending lots of good wishes and hugs to you and your family.