We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


We've got a busy weekend coming up. We're going out of town for the day. We were going to be gone for 2 nights and then we changed it to 1 and now I think we're just going for the day. There are several (boring) reasons why we decided to just be gone for the day but we're going to see some super special people that I can't wait to see!!!! We are also going to see my cousin, his wife and their 2 kids. Their daughter and Asa have the same birthday so we're going to do a lowkey dinner/combined birthday party. I'm excited to see them also.

We also have a soccer game and Sunday is Asa's surprise birthday party!!! I'm hoping the weather will be nice so we can do it outside and so far the forecast is calling for dry but overcast. Anything other than rain and I'll be a happy camper.

Birthdays for the kids are always hard. I don't remember any of them since sissy died. I see photos of them so I have proof that we actually had a party but I have no memory of it. I was watching the news over the weekend and saw that both Kara Kennedy and Eleanor Mondale died on the same day, both at 51. Kara's daughter had a birthday just a few days later and mom and I gasped when we heard that. How horrible for them! How could they live through that? Not only did her family have to deal with her dying but then a birthday so close to it? I was just thinking "how? How can one family do that?"

Then it hit me. WE did that.

Sissy died 5 days before Valentina's birthday.

Jen asked me a funny question when I was talking to her one day. "When is Valentina's birthday?" She laughed once she realized what she was asking me as I had just blogged how confused I get when someone asks me when it is. Jen followed up with "nevermind! I know how difficult that question is for you!" We laughed and laughed.

Sunday is Asa's party and Monday is his actual birthday. I'm getting all my melancholy shit out now because when I write his birthday post I refuse to have anything of a downer in it.

So that's it. Busy busy busy which is always good. And again, so far I love Asa's 1st grade teacher. We've really lucked out thus far. I'm both dreading and looking forward to next year when both kids are in the same school. I know Valentina is going to have a very hard adjusting to full days in school but it will be best for her. I want to cry just thinking about it and I know it's going to be difficult but I can't homeschool her, it just wouldn't be right for her. She needs to be around other kids and follow a schedule. It took her all year to get used to pre-school and this year she's doing better. I know "real" school is going to be harder but again, it's not about me and what I want, it's about what is best for her. Sucks being a parent sometimes and making those hard decisions, don't it?

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