We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.



Friday, October 21, 2011

Avoiding

I was watching Cookie Monster the other day on "Sesame Street" (yes Holly and Amanda, I actually nutted up and watched a fucking puppet show. I bet THAT'S what made me pass out!) and his way of halted talking cracked me up. Today I've had his voice running through my head:

Must stay busy.

Busy make neck and back hurt.

Hurting make me not think of emotional pain.

Emotional pain bad.

Physical pain better than emotional.

Busy, busy, busy.

Bake, bake, bake.

Cook, cook, cook.

Cater to children keeps me busy.

Beya really sick.

Beya not be with me.

Me miss Beya.

Must stay busy to not think of Beya.

Beya sick make me think of sissy sick.

Valentina grieving.

Valentina crying a lot over TT.

Valentina grieving make heart hurt.

Hurting heart not good.

Sissy gone.

Don't think of sissy gone.

Don't think of fun with sissy.

Don't think of sissy.

Can't stop thinking of sissy.

Me miss sissy.

Must stay busy.

Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.

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