We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Grief Stricken Or Seven?

Asa has been throwing fits lately and yesterday was the worst so far. I keep thinking "he's lost his mom, he's finally grieving" but then I wonder if it's just normal 7 year old behavior.

Today after school the kids got to pick out a piece of candy from their Halloween bag, they each have a gallon size bag full of candy. After they had candy Asa announced "I need some alone time", went into his room and shut the door. My heart was breaking as I thinking he was probably thinking about Trina and was sad. Saturday morning he gave me a hug and said "I miss mom." Today is the 9th, which is always hard but I'm always careful to never let on to him that the 9th is any different than any other day. About 10 minutes after he went into his room Beya went in to give him a hug.

Asa was sitting under his desk with the contraband bag of candy, eating it as fast as he could.

I was feeling sorry for him when in reality he was being a normal 7 year old and sneaking candy.


Jen said...

I saw the post on FB and couldn't help but laugh... a lot! Asa boy...you sure pulled one over!

I do the exact same thing, I feel so sorry for my severely brain injured little girl crying, and think...poor girl, she probably wants to...or she can't (this is where the heavy projection begins) and then after a while I'm like, hey knock it off ok, enough of that, STOP CRYING...you have nothing to cry about. Oh yeah?? I'm gonna give you something to cry about! Then when I think that I feel bad as I see her sitting there unable to do anything ;o(

It is so hard to determine the difference between the two. I'm sure it is a super fine line, or at least that is what I think. There could be much more space between than I think!

I am constantly trying to think back to how she was before the accident, but the problem with that was she was always good. So I ask my friends ~ with all their healthy brained kids...

Grama said...

Sure sounds like a normal boy to me. He is worth all the hard times and I am sure there are times he is missing Mom
Hang in there I think you are doing a great job what with going through the hard times yourself
Love and prayers