We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.



Thursday, November 17, 2011

Untitled

This is a mishmash so there is no title.

We were supposed to do a road trip tomorrow (Norm has a meeting out of town) but I've been sick for the past two days and the thought of being in a car for a few hours just to spend one night in a hotel and drive home makes me exhausted. That and the toll it would take on my back just isn't worth it. The kids had two very different reactions when I told them we had to cancel our trip.

Asa - "Cool! Tomorrow is crazy hat day at school!"

Valentina - "Huh. Well you can stay home and we'll go without you!" head flipped around, her long hair almost snapping like a whip behind her and her arms crossed.

So we will be home this weekend.

I'm back in therapy. I'm starting very slowly but I have noticed a decrease in my anxiety attacks. I was having them almost daily and they would last about an hour. I think the last one I had was Tuesday.

Thanksgiving is upon us already. I can't believe it. I can't believe we passed the 22 month mark. I can't believe we're going to cook a Thanksgiving dinner. Well, strike that, we're cooking a family dinner. That is how I am going about this, it is just a family dinner with turkey and the sides. See? I avoid. But I am dealing with it slowly. Dinner will be just the seven of us.

The only time I have ever shopped Black Friday was when Best Buy gave out a free 3 song U2 CD to the first 150 people. This year, however, being as the stores are opening at midnight mom and I are thinking of doing it. Anything for a distraction. Midnight is a whole lot better than 4 am since being up until midnight is a piece of cake, or pumpkin pie as the case may be. Mom wants a tablet so if we can find a great, fantastic, unbelievable deal for one you can bet I'll be one of those who (attempt to) sprint for the prize.

So that is about it. Oh, Valentina sang in the kids choir at last weekends mass (or "mask" as she calls it). I was reminded once again why I don't go to church and don't believe in organized religion for myself.

FEAR!!! FEAR!!! YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!! YOU MUST BE GOOD ENOUGH!!! YOU WON'T GET INTO HEAVEN BEING WHO YOU ARE!!! YOU MUST BECOME SOMEONE BETTER!!!! YOU MUST BE BETTER THAN THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU!!! ARE YOU BETTER THAN THEM??? ARE THEY GOING TO TAKE YOUR PLACE IN HEAVEN??? YOU MUST BE BETTER THAN THEM!! GOD WILL RAIN DOWN HIS WRATH UPON YOU IF YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!! GOD WILL BE AN ANGRY GOD IF YOU DON'T DO GOOD THINGS!!! FEAR!!!! YOU MUST LIVE IN FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!

Yeah, no thank you. In the wise (paraphrased) words of Jack Nicholson's character, "go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here."

How true :)