We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.



Monday, April 23, 2012

Locked And Loaded

Mom and I went to the fabric store today to look for inspiration for the family room. We went after our weekly therapy appointment in which I was told I do too much, I'm ruining my back, I'm putting my mental and physical self in danger, I'm pushing everything away including my pain, blah, blah, blah. Dr. B also said he could sit there and tell me the same thing for 2 1/2 years and I won't do it until I decide to do it. I don't know why he used a 2 1/2 year ruler other than there must have been something we had worked on in the past that took me 2 1/2 years to realize/do.

Whatever, I popped some more pain meds and off we went (against Beya's suggestion of going home and letting me lay down -yawn-BORING-yawn-)

We picked out some really pretty fabrics, too many actually, so we had to whittle some away and we got it down to two that complimented each other.

"You do realize that once you buy fabric you're locked in and there's no turning back, right?" Mom asked me. We had gone around and around and around.....and around some more on the color scheme so the time had come. Do I go with my original color theme? Do I go with something else that Norm hates knowing full well he won't do a damn thing after I get everything done? Do I do want mom wants? Do I go with what I want? What DO I want? Am I ready?

All of this and more went through my head before I finally knocked myself upside it and remembered one small truth;

It's not cancer. It's a fucking family room design. It's colors for shit's sake. It's not life and death.

So I am the proud owner of seven yards of fabric that Beya is going to magically transform into new drapes, a cover for sissy's rocking chair that I have and a few throw pillows. We also bought some fabric dye because the couch I have in there now won't match once we're done but I have an extra tan cover that we can dye.

I can't wait!

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