"I know a lot of you might have church so I wanted to ask first" coach said.
I couldn't help but try to stifle the loud snort that was trying to escape from me.
"We're in!" I said instantly.
One of the perks of not going to church is you don't have to work around any schedule on Sunday's, haha. There is a pastor on our team and I adore his wife and kids so I'm not completely slamming the church community. Anyway, there's a soccer mom that gets on my nerves so much I can't stand to sit next to her during games, she just annoys the hell out of me. During one of the first practices mom and her were talking and during the conversation mom explained our situation and then went on to say that I have chronic neck/back/spinal pain. Most people don't know about my back because I don't like to talk about it, it sounds so "poor me" and that is the furthest thing from my mind. But once the issue of back pain came up the flood gates opened. The soccer mom just went on and on and on about all of HER problems, that she's had this done, she's had that done. I wanted to interrupt her and say "have you had cancer too? Because if you haven't I don't want to hear about it." From this day on I've referred to her as Miss Hypochondriac with mom.
So, yesterday after coach talked about the tournament, Miss Hypochondriac immediately started in;
"Well I go to church in the morning. If it's in the afternoon we can make it but not if it's in the morning. We have to go to church. I don't think God would be too happy about us not going to church for a soccer game! No, God would smite us! We can't miss church for a game!"
I kid you not, she said those exact words. I was so shocked I was speechless and if you know me, you know it takes a lot to make me speechless. After a few seconds I wanted to turn around and say to her "What God do YOU believe in because the one I believe in would WANT me to have a fun day outside watching my kid play soccer which is his passion. God wouldn't 'smite' me for that!"
Then, as usual, a U2 lyric came to mind:
"I can't tell the difference between ABC News, Hillstreet Blues and a preacher on the Old Time Gospel Hour stealing money from the sick and the old.
Well the God I believe in isn't short of cash, mister."
U2 "Bullet The Blue Sky"
After I told mom about the whole thing today (she was home during the practice and didn't hear the threats of God smiting us) she laughed.
"Oh, I'd love tell her that God already smote us!"
Of course mom wouldn't have said that any more than I would have quoted U2 but it sure fit the situation. In fact I've often said that I worship at the church of U2.
Luckily I can attend my church at any time of any day without any risk of being smote.
I also think my church would encourage a soccer tournament with my kids.