We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Sunday, May 20, 2012


Sometimes I want to scream,
Sometimes I want to hide.
Sometimes I want to wish
All of this goodbye.

Sometimes I try to disconnect,
Sometimes I try to shut down.
Sometimes I feel like my grief
Is so strong it makes no sound.

Sometimes I shut my eyes
Sometimes I try not to think
Sometimes I feel like my wrath
Is so strong I can rip out the kitchen sink.

Sometimes I grab things
Sometimes I even throw
Sometimes I feel like anger
Has a grasp on me that won't let go.

Sometimes my mind starts to wander
Sometimes I think this isn't real
Sometimes I think I'm incapable
Of being able to really feel.

Sometimes people say I look happy,
Sometimes they say I sound good
Sometimes I want to punch them in the face
Even though it would do no good.

Sometimes I don't allow it,
Sometimes I stop from crying
Sometimes I'm really good
At keeping things away and lying.

Sometimes I tell myself
This can't possibly be life.
Because I never thought I could breathe
Without sissy by my side.