We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.



Monday, January 28, 2013

Series Finales

I hate saying goodbye to a good tv show because I always get emotional. Except when it's "The Soprano's" and it's a really fucking shitty finale that pisses me off. I usually start to cry about 30 seconds before the end and can't stop until way after the credits stop rolling. I would always be on the phone with sissy and sometimes we'd cry together (Sex and the City) or be mad together (see the above).

Since she died I've had to watch many series finales by myself, the first of which was "Nip/Tuck". That show ended just weeks after she died. I was so angry that she wasn't there to watch it with me.

I was angry when "Lost" ended and I didn't have her to talk things over with. Together we would have solved the shit out of that mysterious ending.

"Leverage" also just recently ended. That was one of her favorite shows and I didn't start watching it until  after she died.

Thursday night marks the end of one of our favorites.

"30 Rock"

BLURGH!

Again, I'm angry that she's not here with me. I keep a journal to sissy and in it I jot down various memories. Sometimes they are pages long, sometimes they are only one sentence. It's just when the mood hits me and I'm able to write it down without really feeling what I'm writing. A disconnect if you will. I always write in there whenever yet another one of our shows goes off the air.

TV had a big impact on our life. We would watch tv together over the phone. Yes. You read that right. We would be on the phone together, watching the same thing. Sometimes we'd do a 3 way:

{ring} {ring}

"hi" (because we didn't even have to look at the caller ID, we just knew if it was during a commercial break or just before a show started one of us was calling the other)

"Hi. Are you calling mom or am I?"

"I am. Hold on."

click

click back {phone ringing in the background} "you there?"

"yeah"

"Hello?" mom would answer

"Did you see that?" Trina and I would usually say the same thing at the same time to mom and thus our 3 way phone call would be complete.

With each series finale I'm slapped in the face with the reality that life, really, does go on.  Life goes on even when you feel as if it should stand still forever. Even when you feel like you can't move one more inch. Even when you feel like this is it, it's all too much, you can't keep doing it.

TV show series finales just bring to the forefront (like it's ever NOT at the front of my mind, ha!) that I've already had to live through one of the worst finales I'll ever have to.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I must start by saying - recreating comments sucks!!

I hate any kind of slap in the face, and I especially hate when you and your family get slapped in the face! Yes, life just keeps on rolling on, pushing us forward, sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it just doesn't feel good at all.

I loved reading every detail of the three way call between you guys! But of course...it made me sad, sad, sad for you both. I am so sorry...