When I write about my dark and twisty innermost thoughts Beya is always surprised. She hates to read those posts. She says it always shocks her because that is not our day to day life. And it isn't, I hope I've made that clear. This blog is something I use to purge those thoughts and feelings. I have them, they are mine, it is how I feel all the time. I still have the ticker screaming at me "MY SISTER IS DEAD! MY SISTER IS DEAD!" There has yet to be one second that goes by where I am not thinking of her and missing her and feel as if I have had my soul ripped out of my body and replaced with a wonky one that isn't even close to the one I had. I feel as if I need to give proof that I'm not wallowing and moping around.
This is our day to day life.
I hope this gives you a better sense of my two worlds that are always colliding. I have my dark and twisty and grief stricken heart mixed with my life that is grateful for the family that I have left.