We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Well we got some info on Papa. They are waiting a month and then he will need to go back in and have it looked at again. Both mom and I are hopeful that this is just an enlarged lymph node for no reason and that everything is fine. I know we have a tendency to freak out and automatically think "cancer" but the one time we didn't think that it turned out to be. I was just worried and very sad to think of papa sick, to see that image of him going through what sissy went through. Thankfully I doubt that will happen :) Thank you everyone who texted, emailed, commented and reached out. I am truly thankful for that.

Monday, May 26, 2014


We are a soccer family so you can imagine how excited we are for the upcoming World Cup. We became a bit obsessed with the 2010 World Cup. It came on the heels of sissy dying so we were desperate for anything to help keep us occupied. I'm proud to say we watched every damn game of that damn World Cup! Asa correctly predicted all but two of the outcomes. On the eve of this World Cup I'm posting the ad for the last World Cup narrated by my man (no, not Caleb Porter, my other man, Bono), it never fails to give me chills and goosebumps:

Friday, May 23, 2014


No test results until Tuesday. I feel very conflicted about this. On one hand it's horrible not knowing. On the other hand if it's bad news then I want to revel in these last few days before the hammer drops. I guess I've decided to just try to ignore it. If it turns out to be nothing then I won't have wasted any time worrying about something that wasn't there and if it IS something then I'll have plenty of time to worry.

So I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Remember your lost loved ones.

I know I do.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014


Papa recently felt a lump under his arm. Mom felt around for it but she didn't feel anything. As a precaution she made an appointment with our doctor.

Yesterday the doctor felt it right away. He ordered blood work and depending on how that came back he would order either a CT scan or MRI.

Mom got the call today that papa has a CT scan Friday morning.

Both mom and I are trying not to freak out but I look at papa and I want to cry. I've seen more and more that papa is getting old. It breaks me heart to think of something happening to him. I love my papa so much. I love both of my parents.

I am just hoping that this is nothing and that the doctor is being overly cautious given how he misdiagnosed sissy's cancer.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Valentina Ballerina

Valentina had her ballet recital this weekend. I was so proud of her! I had things all planned out, I would slowly get her ready, taking special care to pouf her peacock tail, do her hair nice and "crispy" (her words, from the mousse) and just overall have a nice calm morning. 

The time came to get her ready and she had a meltdown. It didn't help that I had been up all night with Asa who had been sick with a headache, sore throat and nonstop cough. I tried to stay as calm as possible but all I could think of while I held her and told her she was a brave girl and could do this was "we're going to be late. I'm never going to get her ready on time. I have to get her in her costume, this is not working out like I had planned!" After a half hour I was frazzled and out of sorts. I somehow managed to get her ready and all of us rushed out the door. We had just left the driveway when mom asked if I had her tutu and feather for her head. Nope. Turn around, unlock the house, run in, grab the dress bag that held everything, lock the house, run back out to the car, realize I forgot the tickets, run back to the house, unlock the house (again), make a mess looking for the tickets, grab the tickets, lock the house (again), get in the car and we were finally off, for good this time. 

I have often complained to my family and some friends about the cost of ballet, especially since during rehearsals it appeared that Valentina learned about 5 different moves and that was it. "We could have gone on a vacation" I vented to a fellow ballet mom. I was backstage with Valentina until it was time for the peacocks to perform and then I was able to run into the audience. Valentina may have only learned five moves but seeing her on stage, looking so happy, full of confidence, having FUN, well, it was a vacation. A vacation that lasted about 25 seconds but a vacation nontheless. 

Backstage, waiting to go on stage. This is one of the few photos she allowed me to take. 

Asa was a patient big brother. One of his soccer teammates was there as his sister is in the same class as Valentina and they sat together. 

I was so proud of my Valentina Ballerina and I know that sissy would have been too. Sissy would have had the biggest bouquet of flowers waiting for her Vali, I just wish she could have been there.