We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

World Cup Fever

Less than one week into the World Cup and we are sufficiently immersed in the obsession that the world calls World Cup Fever. Of course we watch soccer year round but to have 3-4 games on per day is just wonderful for us, especially Asa. You could watch one game with him and  just listening to him rattle off names and phrases he sounds like a pro. He knows every single player on every single team. No exaggeration. Now we speak Soccer-ese but to the layperson the following words may sound like gibberish:

red card, yellow card
added time, extra time, stoppage time
penalty kicks, free kick, corner kick, goal kick
3 points, 1 point
10 men
Lionel (pronounced lee-uh-NELL, not LIE-null)
Real (pronounced ree-AHL not real)

For example:

I'm so glad Mexico got the 3 points for the game so I guess it doesn't matter that they had 2 offside goals. I'm just glad the game wasn't decided in stoppage time, that stresses me out. The red card Ghana got in the USA game didn't change the fact that we beat them, 10 men or not. I kind of hope one of the finals comes down to extra time and then penalty kicks. I wonder how long the teams practice scrimmaging. Sometimes the linesmen get it wrong. Tim Howard is a great goal keeper, he plays with Real Salt Lake but I'm not sure he would be able to keep Lionel Messi out.

Rattle that off and people will think you sound like a pro.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Yes I Do Have A Cross

I welcome religious zealots who come to my door. Nothing gets my blood pumping more than out arguing someone who has come to save my soul. Many a time have I sent preachers and missionaries away from my home cursing themselves for happening upon my doorstep.

The latest and greatest happened Wednesday evening. A young girl came by trying to hawk some of her "Jesus loves YOU!!!!" books. I took pity on her seemingly teenage self and tried politely to tell her I wasn't interested. By the third time I realized that she may have been young but they had groomed her right, she wasn't taking no for an answer. After she literally shoved a book through my screen door I figured enough was enough.

"I'm Agnostic" I announced to her. "I don't need any of this, I've had it all before and I'm quite fine with my life right now."

Her jaw dropped open and she sputtered to me, "but you have a cross on your wall!" dumbfounded.

"Yes I do" I agreed, wondering what else her prying eyes had picked up. "I have a wall full of crosses."

"But....... then....... uh.......why........um........ I'm sorry, I'm confused. What is Agnostic?" she finally blurted.

"I believe that God is a theory that can neither be proven nor disproved. I don't say there is a God, I don't say there isn't. I believe he is a theory" I answered her.

"Did you used to believe?" she asked me. This one kills me. I believe in a lot of things, why is it that when people question my "beliefs" it has to automatically refer to God? Why can't it mean marriage equality? Why can't it mean Mac vs. PC? Why does "believe" have to mean beLIEve in God?

"Yes, I used to believe" I told her, using her vernacular. "I was raised religiously in a 7th Day Adventist culture. Then I left and dabbled in Catholicism. Then I became spiritual. Now I'm Agnostic and I'm just fine with that" I explained.

And just like that she became just another in a long list of "believers" who left my doorstep wondering why oh why my house was on their route.

Some of you may wonder why my kids went to religious preschools. That is simple. Both of my kids believe in God. Beya teaches them about God and they want to pray and "believe". Sometimes it's a difficult dance around words to support them in their beliefs when mine are completely different. I don't want them to know what my chosen path is, I don't want to confuse them, which is why I keep my belief, or lack thereof, under wraps from them. When they are older I will be more than happy to let them know what my thoughts and feelings are and how and why I came to my decision but when I tell them I want them to have enough years behind them where they can understand why I think the way I do, why I encouraged them to believe in God, why they only heard about God from Beya and never me. Also the only reason I was able to be fully truthful with this young girl was because the kids were out of the house.

Am I doing the right thing? I have no idea. All I can say is that I'm doing it MY way and the way I FEEL comfortable doing it so who is to criticize and judge me for doing what I'm doing? I'll leave that to the door to door's who are inevitably praying for my quick recovery. A recovery that will never come because there's nothing wrong with me in the first place, I have nothing to recover from.

And yes, I do have a cross in my house. This Agnostic has a hot mess of a wall filled with crosses. At one point they meant something to me. Now they are mere souvenir's to highlight places I have been, gifts from someone for a birthday, wedding gifts from certain people and a few Mothers Day crosses. I love them all as I see them simply for what they are, parts of my life from all different times of it. No more, no less. Hell, I even have a cross tattoo'd on my foot! But I don't regret any of my crosses. They are all step stones to get me to where I am today. I must admit, my life can get really fucked up sometimes, the depression, the bipolar, the chronic pain, the anxiety, the grief, etc.... but when it comes to my thoughts on Jesus and God, well, I've never been more at peace or have felt any better in regards to that part of my life. I feel free to be who I am and who I am is an Agnostic.

My name is Cameo and I'm Agnostic.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

World Cup!

The World Cup starts tomorrow!!!!


I cannot wait.

Just thought I would say that. And go on record saying that I want Argentina to win. Asa says Brazil, Spain or Germany.

We have a poster sized match chart up on the wall in the living room and a World Cup magazine on the ottoman. We.are.set.for.our.obsession.

Go Argentina!!!!!!!

Go World Cup!!!!!!

Friday, June 06, 2014


Anyone who knows me knows what a big supporter I am of Product (RED). When they rolled out the new "Eat (RED), Drink (RED) Save Lives" campaign I was excited to find a place near me to eat at. I plugged in in my location and up popped five places, as you can clearly see (if it doesn't show the location just type in "Portland" and you will see five options). I did some looking in to things and figured the pizza place would be the best thing for us. The kids got out of school early so I figured great, we could all meet Norm at his office, the kids and I could finally see where he spends most of his waking moments and then stop for pizza on the way home.

Oh, what do they say about good intentions?

I'll spare you the entire scenario and just give you the highlight. Two and a half hours after the kids got out of school we finally ended up at the place (I'm not naming them because I don't want to give them any more publicity). It had been a long 2 1/2 hours with lots of complaining and waiting at the office so we were all tired. It was a cool place but I've never seen so many fucking hipsters in my life. I felt so out of place and have never felt more like a suburbanite.

BUT I WAS THERE FOR A CAUSE!!!! I would carry on!

The waiter ambled on over to see what he could get us and I asked him if every item on the menu was supporting (RED) or if there were just certain things where the money was being donated from.

"Huh?" was the answer I got.

I started to get a sinking feeling.

"Product Red" I persevered, "you are a participating member of Product Red" I informed him. "Did you not know this?"

"Is there a manager we can talk to?" Norm asked. Here's the kicker:

"I'm the owner" he answered.

"Product Red. It's an organization where people buy things and a portion of the proceeds go towards buying Antiretroviral Drugs in Africa. They are helping stop the spread of HIV" I schooled him.

"I got a button in the mail" he drawled, pointing to it on his hipster suspenders.

Norm and I just shook our heads. This wasn't happening. I didn't just spend, by this time, 3 hours trying to get to this place only to be met by the most uninformed person.

"Is there a website?" the guy asked.

"Yes, it listed you as a participant" I tried.

"Oh. Well can I get you something to drink anyway?"

I gave in and gave up. I would not be supporting (RED) today. I was comforted, however, when we finally got home (another hour later) and I saw my phone and iPad clad in their (RED) covers.

Next time I will call ahead to find out if I will be eating a (RED) diner.

Please, please, please find out if there is a (RED) location near you that you can visit, this specific campaign is only until June 10th.

Thank you.