We were the closest family possible. Our world was turned upside down on 05/03/09 when my best friend, the person I love most next only to our children, my sister Trina was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. Her body gave out on her on 01/09/10 but she will ALWAYS be a part of our daily life and will continue to be in my posts. I started my blog to chronicle our daughter's international adoption from Guatemala and have continued to use it as a journal.

What you will find is my family trying to adapt to our new lives that were handed to us.

Sunday, April 06, 2014

For Kathy

While writing my blog I have met some amazing people. Some I have known through emails, some I have known through phone calls, some drift in and out of my life and some are in my life and people I've actually met.

Kathy is one such person I have met in real life. She lives an hour away from me and whenever we would go on the Polar Express we would always meet up with her. Kathy always brings a special toy for the kids, she is so funny, adores her grandkids, her kids and her husband. Kathy is also my trial buddy. We were both obsessed with the Casey Anthony trial and forget about getting any work done during the Jodi Arias trial, we would be texting each other constantly. If she had to actually get some work done I'd get her caught up on what she missed.

We "met" when she found my blog after sissy died and she emailed me telling me she could relate. Her sister Patty died 20 years prior from breast cancer and she still felt the grief. We have commiserated and laughed. Grieved and joked. Most of all Kathy told me something that I have held on to for the past four years. I have held tightly to this promise of sorts but I have never told her how much what she told me means to me. How I have clung to it like a life buoy sometimes. She told me once that it took her about five years to finally start to feel some sort of life again.

Why did this strike me so much? Because it wasn't the usual bullshit of "time heals all wounds" or "it gets easier with time" or any of that other shit people say. No, Kathy told me the way it is. She tells me that some days, more than 20 years later, she has a really rough day or she reached for the phone to call Patty or just really missed her sister. I think I still have the original email she sent me.

Kathy is someone who I really, really like and is really honest.

Kathy emailed me Thursday letting me know her husband unexpectedly died earlier this week.

I'm so very, very sorry for you Kathy. I have no words, only love and sorrow.